It’s scary to realize that you’re not actually as a good of a person you expect yourself to be. It’s scary because as you loop the sequence of your actions in your head, you become aware that there is no way to escape the wrongdoings you guide yourself towards. It’s scary because your parents tell you that submerging yourself in vanity and boastings and materialism is a normal phase, but you think you’re actually going to go insane from digging down the depths, only to drown in the layers of wrongs. It’s scary because sometimes you don’t think it’s a big deal, and other times you feel hopelessly broken. It’s scary because you’re a hypocrite, and you hate hypocrites. It’s scary because people might think you’re crazy, and might never look at you the same. It’s scary because you’re acknowledging and exposing your vulnerabilities. It’s scary because you don’t want to let your self-failures define you, yet you don’t want to live a life of sane denial. It’s scary because you’re human and humans can shatter.
Will the meaning be the same if you replace “scary”, with “human”?
Yet… it brings comfort.
It’s kind of obnoxious how I always end up ending my posts in a better light.
I guess I’m human in that way too.