I was close to entitling this “4 Years Later, And I’m Still Here!”, but I thought the title would suggest that tending this blog has been a chore. Indeed, the opposite: it has been a wonderful responsibility. However, I recognize the reality in my almost-title, namely the fact that it is true that most of my initial blogging friends have long since left the community. I began this blog with a strong focus on book reviews, music, and bubbling thoughts. Four years later, I have shifted my focus to introspective narrations, poems, and a side of music; the refinement of my writing almost seems like a compensation for my growing relationship with ambiguity.
If you didn’t know, the past year I started a Youtube Channel called MindArt, where I post short videos where snippets of scenes are overlaid with a piece of music that reflect the tone of the storyline. I liked the channel’s name so much that on several occasions I have felt compelled to change this blog’s name to MindArt, but fell short in realizing it.
Since I am an irrational creature, I was naturally drawn to the Appeal to Tradition fallacy, which argues that something is right because it has always been done that way. But, the rational side of me could have fought my way out of this unacceptable conservatism. Ultimately, I am keeping “The Humble Watermelon” not because it appeals to tradition, but rather because it is necessary.
With the start of summer, many of my peers have flown to new, exciting opportunities. Opportunities that I myself could have grasped if it were not for my hesitancy and un-sureness. Not only that, but the start of the high school year marks my last one, which means that the race for scholarships and university applications have begun. I need humbleness because an ill line of thought, that is, one of jealousy and pittance, is not the answer for success. That doesn’t mean I will try to beat down these emotions, but rather, I will try to welcome empathy and humility into my heart as well.
I need humbleness not only for building my career, but also for building everything else. The more I think about the world in itself, the more I am jolted by its very essence. First: My life is a pure coincidence. I am in no way entitled to any of the fortunes that I have been gifted, nor to any that seems in reach. Second: Then how can I justify my suffering, if I know that there is an unspeakably larger number of humans suffering more than I am? Third: The path that society and my family has paved for me is simply not the only answer. I walk on the constructed path. I do not possess the equipment for the unconstructed roads. But who says you even need equipment to veer onto untamed grounds?
Despite all of this, I still privilege myself in excess, I still pity my own suffering, I still follow the rules. And, I most likely always will. And so I need humbleness because it encourages me to never stop questioning myself about the world. Mind you, most questions don’t even lead to half an answer, but questions are more essential than facts. I need humbleness because it brings me periods of unease and developing perspectives. Simply , I need humbleness to become humble. Just as I need happiness to become happy, and I need anger to become angry.
It has been four years. And I must say how grateful I am to have a blog name that still makes it impossible for me to reach a sound conclusion.